


Hope

by janetcarter



Category: 3022 (2019)
Genre: Child Abandonment, Child Death, Denial, Gen, Nightmares, Rejected Apology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:21:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23271652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janetcarter/pseuds/janetcarter
Summary: A daughter who hates her is preferable to one who doesn't breathe.
Relationships: Jackie Miller & Jenny Miller
Kudos: 2
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo





	Hope

**Author's Note:**

> For the Bad Things Happen Bingo prompt "Rejected Apology."

Jenny is wearing the same outfit she wore when Jackie kissed her goodbye. It's a pink hoodie, one Jackie zipped up on a windy day at the beach, careful not to catch those blonde pigtails in the metal. Shells crunched beneath their soles as they listened to the crashing waves and looked for conchs and pearls. 

They held hands that day to keep Jenny steady on unsteady ground, but now they're a distance apart. All Jackie wants to do is feel that soft fabric again, and bury her nose in the scent of strawberry shampoo. 

A stuffed bunny hangs from Jenny's small hands. She isn't wearing gloves. Her fingers must be so cold… If Jackie could just hold them again, she could warm them up.

When she reaches toward her daughter across the never-ending hills of shells, a reminder tumbles from Jenny's lips: "You left me." 

The words Jackie wants to say, whatever they may be, are stuck in her throat. They trip over each other because no string of sounds could ever be enough. A broken "I'm sorry," is all her vocal chords allow, because her daughter deserves better than the million excuses she's told herself.

"Is that the best you can do?" Jenny's hair is redder now, but it's the only evidence Jackie ever had any influence; that, the lacking smile on Jenny's face, and the lacking childhood she deserved. "I grew up without you. Why'd Pangaea matter more?" 

"It didn't! Not a second has gone by I haven't thought about you, I…"

"You chose the mission," she adds, walking closer. The shells crunch, the wind roars. "And the mission was for nothing." 

Jackie falls to her knees, rocks and broken shells stabbing into her skin. She thinks she sees blood staining her pants, but it's hard to know when her legs are so numb and her vision so blurry.

"Five years," Jenny whispers. The half-inch between Jenny's lips and Jackie's ear feels farther than the distance between the station and earth. The fog brightens, the ground trembles like Jackie's hands - "And you didn’t even say goodbye." 

Jackie's eyes snap open to the hazy yellow of her quarters. A picture of Jenny blurs into focus, the smiling little girl she left on Earth. She'll never be that kid again, but Jackie has to try. She has to go back, to make up for lost time, to hold her daughter in the ashes of earth and never let go.

She already failed her once. She can't fail her again; even if everyone else has already given up hope.


End file.
